Virtual single parent olim families

I've noticed a lot more virtual single parent olim families moving into our neighbourhood recently. I haven't actually conducted a survey but after speaking to many of these incredible women, these are my impressions. The wife moves into a dira (flat) with the kids. She has to single handedly deal with the new schools, the government departments, the banks, the health insurance, the water, gas, electric and Internet/Cable companies, the language, the cultural shock, the lift(s) from abroad , the home purchases and a hundred other things. The husband is still abroad working, sending the money and flying "home" once or twice a month for a few days. It's difficult enough as a family making aliyah but these women have to cope like a one parent family making all the difficult decisons alone. What makes it worse is that when they phone their husbands to try and explain what they are going through, they are told that they are making too much of a fuss, to be strong and just get on with things and told that it is him that is actually suffering, having to live away from the family. Of course all her tension spills out onto her kids who themselves are suffering from culture shock, language and the struggle to find friends. They don't even have the security of a normal Mum and Dad family environment to support them in a strange land. Then the father flies in with his presents from the duty free becoming the hero and turning the wife into the evil one. One of the main problems is that the husband simply doesn’t go through the klita (absorption) process. Wife and husband are living seperate lives, she is gradually being absorbed into Israeli life while he remains outside. Eventually they will end up talking on different wave lengths.

Have they actually made aliyah? Do they get the scut of the mitzvah of Yishuv Eretz Yisrael?

I am certainly not giving a psak here but I thought that I'd bring some halachik sources quoted by Rav Yizacher Frand on his tape shiur "Mitzvah Yishuv Eretz Yisrael" that I think could be relevant to this discussion. The Ma'il Tzedaka in his Piskei Tshuva (saif Katan Vav, Even HaEzer (עה:ה) says that in order to live in Eretz Yisrael one has to be able to make a parnosa there. He said that if one is reduced to begging then one should not live there. The Avnei Neizer (The Sokachov Rav, 19th century, talmid of Rav Manachem Mendel of Kotz) in his work "Tshuva Avnei Naizer - Yoreh Daiah" chelek ב, Siman תנ"ד), in the same teshuva where he writes that the Ramba"m holds that Yishuv Eretz Yisrael is in fact a mitzvah DeOritah, asks why so many great Rabbanim prefer to remain living outside of Eretz Yisrael? He gives the same answer as the Ma'il Tzedaka gave, that is that these Rabbanim would have to rely on their chasidim in chutz la'aretz to support them in Eretz Yisrael. The ika tachles (main issue) of living in Eretz Yisrael is that one can feel the Hashkafa Pratit, the hand of Hashem. When one lives outside of Eretz Yisrael, one gets his parnosa via a malach. The Avnei Neizer then quotes Mesecta Ta'anit which describes living in Eretz Yisrael as living in the palace of the King of Kings. So in Eretz Yisrael one gets his parnasa directly from yad Hashem (the hand of G-d). He concludes that if one is going to get one's parnasa from chutz la'aretz then one has negated the whole purpose of the mitzvah of Yishuv Eretz Yisrael! Therefore, he paskens that one who cannot make a parnasa in Eretz Yisrael is pator from the mitzvah (exempt from the mitzvah).

The question is now, is it really true that these guys cannot find parnosa in Eretz Yisrael?

The truth is that most people can in fact find a parnosa in Eretz Yisrael today. However, making aliyah from Europe, Australia or America might mean adapting to new standards and ways of working and will almost certainly mean a lowering of income and therefore living standards. These things however do not pator one from the mitzvah! One should know that Hakodesh Baruch Hu will help you by bringing more simcha into your life which will more than compensate for the loss of material wealth. Am I being too harsh on these men who commute? Perhaps, especially in this climate of recession and job losses. Then again it's my impression that the recession has hit America and the UK far harder than Israel. Let me know what you think. What a shame ElAl didn't buy up the fleet of Concordes before thay were retired. Three hours air travel time could certainly have helped!