Sunday, July 1, 2012

A sweet little poem and my reply

A few weeks ago I received an email from a "Dati Leumi" friend of mine containing a sweet little poem which I'm sure he thought was very amusing. I did not!

Here is the original poem and below is my reply.

The Fanat in the Hat and Other Stories
Eli D. Clark
(with apologies to Dr. Seuss)


I sat there with Sally.
We sat on the bus.
We sat there together.
No one made a fuss.

Then who came aboard?
The Fanat in the Hat!
And he said to us,
“How can you sit like that?

“You know it is wrong
To sit next to each other.”
I said, “She’s my sister,
And I am her brother.”

He pointed at Sally,
“Go back there to sit.
If you stay in front,
I think I will spit.

“I do not want to see you
Go out or come in.
Your elbows are showing
And making men sin.”

“I paid for my seat
Just like you,” Sally cried.
“I can sit where I want!
It’s for me to decide!"

“Where do you think you are?
This is not Tel Aviv.”
The Fanat in the Hat said,
“Sit in back or you leave.”

“Now do as I say,
You loose woman, you.”
Then out from behind
Came Thug One and Thug Two.

They had beards, they had hats,
And they wore black and white.
Their fingers were curled
Into fists that were tight.

They were big, they were mean,
And they blocked our way.
They did not look like men
Who learn Torah all day.

They screamed at poor Sally.
Prutzoh!” they shouted.
“We will take care of you.”
And we did not doubt it.

We looked up to heaven.
We looked left and right.
Should we try to run
Or stand up and fight?

We needed a plan,
A way to escape,
Before those two Thugs
Squashed us both like a grape.

Then Thug One and Thug Two
Shouted, “Oy! Help us please!”
The Fanat in the Hat
Just fell to his knees.

What made them shake
And what made them yelp?
What made those bullies
Cry out for help?

We looked and we saw
A giant black cat,
Walking erect
In a red and white hat.

The Cat in the Hat
Looked the Thugs in the eye.
“These things need to stop.
And I’ll tell you why.

“Scaring young women
Is not a good game.
Worse, it is causing
A Hillul Ha-Shem.

“Here is a new game
To play,” said the cat.
“The game is called boxing.
Are you good at that?”

The Thugs said, “We box.
When we finish with you,
You will lie on your back
For a week or for two.”

The cat pulled a box out
And opened the top.
We heard a big voom
That made everything stop.

The Fanat in the Hat
And the Thugs in their beards
Were sucked into the box.
They all disappeared.

The cat closed the lid
And sealed it with glue.
“Goodbye,” said the cat,
“And good riddance to you.”

...And here is my reply...

They gathered outside Bnai Brak and Meah Shaarim,
From out of every corner,
The mob could be seen,
From Chelonim, Datai Leumi and everyone in between.
“Get rid of the Dossim, get rid of them all”!
“They are parasites on society”, came the loud call.

All the cameras were there, recording the scene,
Was it Berlin 1933? It could well have been.
“Go back to Poland and Russia, go to hell!
Stop using our blood for matzos,
And throwing our babies down the well”.

Voom! the last ship left, the last plane flew,
 Filled only with Chareidi refugees, (as well as the crew).
Gone were the men in black hats, their wives and children too.
The crowds screamed hysterically “Good riddance to you!”

Then the sky turned red as the missiles came down,
Tel Aviv went first, then every town.
For who was left davaning for Am Yisrael?
The yeshivos fell silent with no one around…
As the last Kollel, Beis Midrash closed its door,
The State of Israel was no more.

(C) Author of blog Reb Mordechai Writes

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